Want to know the real reason I've been living in gym clothes for the past four months?
Because nothing--and I mean NOTHING--in my closet fits me.
It started in June, when I noticed that my running shorts kept riding up, causing my thighs to--gasp!!--rub together and chafe. Then, my yoga pants started hugging my butt a little too closely, and forget about zipping up a pair of jeans. Last week, the final straw: not one, but TWO dresses literally burst at the seams within 24 hours of each other. I had a complete meltdown and then faced reality: it was time to update my wardrobe.
So, I headed into the dressing room at Banana Republic, armed with new sizes and styles, full of confidence and feeling strong and totally secure in my new, healthier body.
I left feeling deflated, huge and completely pissed off at the fashion industry.
No wonder they use human clothes hangers as models, because these clothes do not fit anyone with a hint of muscle or curve.
And I started missing size zero, even though...
Size zero couldn't run up hills without walking; size healthy can.
Size zero got a stress fracture training for a marathon; size healthy finished one, even on a bad day.
Size zero's half marathon PR was 2:35; size healthy's is 1:57.
Size zero had no energy and slept through most days; size healthy has plenty of energy and runs a successful business with two employees.
Two days ago, I tried again. I literally grabbed every pair of jeans in Nordstrom's, in three different sizes. I ignored the labels. I just tried them on. Some, honestly, didn't make it past my knees. Others worked beautifully.
So, I'm purging the closet--banishing size zero forever from my presence, and hopefully, eventually from my mind.