This morning, I read a brilliant piece by my favorite writer, Anne Lamott. Of Mother's Day, Anne writes:
Mother's Day celebrates a huge lie about the value of women: that mothers are superior beings...I hate the way the holiday makes all non-mothers, and the daughters of dead mothers, and the mothers of dead or severely damaged children, feel the deepest kind of grief and failure.
While this may not be a popular sentiment, it's a very real one. I love my mother and remind her of that as often as I can. I admire my friends who are mothers. But I also have friends who are struggling to become mothers and who have lost their mothers, for whom this day is a very painful reminder of that which they have lost and that which they may never have.
I have real issues with the whole cult of motherhood. Mothers are no more saints or sinners than the rest of us. And yes, being a mother is a wonderful experience and an amazing endeavor to be treasured and valued. But not at the expense of those of us who through circumstance or choice are not mothers. Who never will be. And yet still believe we possess the same grace, selflessness, tenacity, kindess, affection and love that we honor mothers for this day. Let's celebrate that AND our mothers and surrogate mothers. Daily.