Tuesday, August 10, 2010

No Boundaries

When I first started blogging about four years ago, my ex scolded me for being "too public."  I had shared several personal things that I felt compelled to write, among them, depression (a familiar topic in this space), the suicide of a close family friend and my rape.  I'm not ashamed of any of those things and would gladly talk to stranger and friend alike about them, mostly because I don't think we talk about the difficult things enough.  And your response to yesterday's post is proof of that.  Many of you shared your same struggles publicly, others shared them privately, but the fact of the matter is that far too many of us suffer in silence.  We put on masks.  We show only our happy faces.  We strive for perfection.  We don't give ourselves room and time to breathe and feel and just BE.  Our true selves--stripped and bare and vulnerable.

After my ex asked me to remove that first blog (which I now know was just his way of controlling and isolating me, but that's another post), I started blogging under pseudonyms.  And even when I added my name to this blog, I was uncertain.  Not from a personal perspective, but from a professional one.  I'm strong-willed and opinionated.  I write about a lot of personal things.  Would that make potential or existing clients uncomfortable?  Less willing to hire me?

I was reluctant to even link to this blog to my professional website because I didn't think it was, well, "professional."  And I had all of these preconceived notions about what a "professional" blog should be. Neat and pretty and upbeat, stocked with great photos and full of great tips about business and entrepreneurship and PR and social media.  Not some free Blogger template filled with my late night angst and deepest fears.

And then I connected with inspiring, honest and REAL people like Allison Nazarian and Elizabeth Potts Weinstein, people that run successful businesses without losing their identities.  Who write about anything and everything because that's who they are.  The person and brand are one and the same.

And I threw out all of those ideas of what a blog "should" be.  This is my name and my blog, and I can write whatever I want to.  Because I AM the brand.  There is no distinction between Laura Scholz, the person, and Laura Scholz, the writer/speaker/business owner.  It's all part of the same whole, the same essence, the same being.  I am who I am.  No apologies.  And no boundaries.

Thanks to you all for teaching me that very important lesson.


  1. thank you for being brave enough to share with all of us! It's inspiring to read and watch as great things happen to a wonderful person

  2. now here's the line that made me laugh out loud "Not some free Blogger template filled with my late night angst and deepest fears."

    i too struggle with depression - and also hypomania - and i too work to meld my realities into one in which i can abide...personal...familial... professional...commercial...theatrical... literary...bla bla bla

    as women there is no distinction between work and friend, family and love, or public and private life. we are the embodiment of holistic living...by our gender!

    i say, bravo! we are women...mind, body and spirit! website, blog and twitter!

  3. What an amazing post...I appreciate the openness!


  4. Huge hugs! So proud of you for putting this out there. And I agree...I am who I am.

  5. Thanks, Bonnie. And good for you for writing that post today--whether or not you share it, putting the thoughts down is what's important.

    Stacy, well I *am* getting a WP upgrade to laurascholz.com, if I can ever write the copy! I love your quote--thanks for being so supportive.

    Thanks, Sara. Hope to see you around soon!

  6. You've given me a lot of food for thought w/ these past two posts. (cheese dip for the soul? I like that better than chicken soup anyhow!)

  7. I love you, Erin! :)
    Jen--same to you. :)
    Mel--It all comes back to cheese dip!

  8. I am humbled and honored that you would mention me (and by "me" I mean EPW and me, LOL). I find that the more I talk about what a mess I am, the more people love me. It takes faith and honesty and the rest will fall into place.

    When you come to visit, I am going to tell you about all the time I spent hiding from my own name and what it took for me to "come out of the closet" and allow me to really be me.

    xo ~ Alli

  9. Thank you & I'm so honored you mentioned me & Alli here. I also blogged for years before I spoke my truth. And I'm still scared, I still have to find where the draw the line, how to push my boundaries - every day. But, that's the point, eh?

    Congrats! :)

  10. I agree with this post 100%. I struggle with the same feelings as I am starting up my blog- how does a nutrition professional admit to not eating "perfectly" all the time!

    I write about real life because I think it makes me more approachable. I for one would like to see the flaws and imperfections on someone and know I am getting the REAL DEAL, instead of only getting a perfect veneer that may crack one day because of too much pressure. This goes for my professional life and personal life.

    Love this post, Laura!!

    Tamra M.

  11. Alli, we are kindred spirits! You inspire me every day. I can't wait to come visit and talk all night! xoxo

  12. I'm a little late on my comment. Maybe it's because you left me speechless. I knew there was a reason why I just couldn't wait to meet you! Now of course I can read exactly why. I love that you are embracing your authentic self and allowing your brand and your message to be REAL to who you are as a person. Props to you for traveling the road less traveled. I'm honored to be a part of the journey even if its only as a spectator.

    My virtual cocktail is raised to you!

  13. One word...Amen! I am fired up now. Far to many times, I've had individuals tell me that my blog is not "professional" and yes it rubbed me the wrong way until a fellow blogger over at Wordpress, Revolutionary Paideia, told me with the toughest love possible, it's YOUR blog and YOUR brand. You own it. Again, Amen to this post and thanks for sharing.

  14. I admire anyone who blogs without a pseudonym. It's a mark I cannot attain as yet.


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