Sunday, September 12, 2010

Saying Goodbye to Size Zero (and Hello to Size Healthy!)

Want to know the real reason I've been living in gym clothes for the past four months?

Because nothing--and I mean NOTHING--in my closet fits me.

It started in June, when I noticed that my running shorts kept riding up, causing my thighs to--gasp!!--rub together and chafe.  Then, my yoga pants started hugging my butt a little too closely, and forget about zipping up a pair of jeans.  Last week, the final straw: not one, but TWO dresses literally burst at the seams within 24 hours of each other.  I had a complete meltdown and then faced reality: it was time to update my wardrobe.

So, I headed into the dressing room at Banana Republic, armed with new sizes and styles, full of confidence and feeling strong and totally secure in my new, healthier body.

I left feeling deflated, huge and completely pissed off at the fashion industry.

No wonder they use human clothes hangers as models, because these clothes do not fit anyone with a hint of muscle or curve.

And I started missing size zero, even though...

Size zero couldn't run up hills without walking; size healthy can.
Size zero got a stress fracture training for a marathon; size healthy finished one, even on a bad day.
Size zero's half marathon PR was 2:35; size healthy's is 1:57.
Size zero had no energy and slept through most days; size healthy has plenty of energy and runs a successful business with two employees.

Two days ago, I tried again.  I literally grabbed every pair of jeans in Nordstrom's, in three different sizes.  I ignored the labels.  I just tried them on.  Some, honestly, didn't make it past my knees.  Others worked beautifully.

So, I'm purging the closet--banishing size zero forever from my presence, and hopefully, eventually from my mind.


  1. You go girl! I think you look fabulous. It's hard to get over the numbers though, isn't it? I'm even a "body image expert" but it's everywhere in our culture. We are bombarded. Just give me a call whenever you need a pep talk. : )

  2. Love this! You've inspired me to change my weight goal. Before it was always "size this, or size that," but now I'm going for Size Healthy!

  3. I always feel proud of you (and your candor) when I read your posts-- another completely familiar scenario to all of us blessed with two x's for chromosomes!! Cheese dip cheers to you, Laura. Rock those new blues and enjoy filling up the new open space in your closet!

  4. What you are doing not only for yourself but also for many other people with your marathon training is an inspiration. I can't wait to see your new "bomber" (that means sturdy and strong in the outdoor world) bod! You rock girl! Keep up the great work and congratulations!


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