When You Work for Free, We All Pay

So far this year, two blog posts have really inspired me and the way I think about business.

The first was Elizabeth Potts Weinstein's manifesto, "I'm Not Sorry About Selling," which contains my favorite words in the history of entrepreneurship: Dude. This is not a freaking non-profit.

The second was Nicole Jordan's brilliant "No. You Can't Pick My Brain," a phrase that me and my entrepreneurial friends invoke on an almost daily basis.

I think both women hit one of the issues that inhibits both the growth of our businesses as well as those of our fellow entrepenereurs: we give things away.  All. The. Time.

A huge chunk of time here, a string of free tips there, until we have nothing of value left to share or sell.  And it's bad enough that we're undervaluing our own worth, but we're also undercutting the value of others' products and services, because all of this "free advice" floating around out there creates the expectation that you can get anything and everything for free.  Which means no one gets paid. 

If you know anything about me, you know that I have a huge heart.  Probably too big.  I'm the first one to offer advice, a connection, an introduction--for childhood friends and new acquaintances alike.  I truly believe in the power of the loconomy, of relationships, of partnership and collaboration.

But there's a difference between a free food sample from your favorite restaurant at a local festival and sitting at the chef's table at that same restaurant for a six-course meal with wine pairings. 

Nibbling is great.  Nibbles turn into bites which turn into meals.

But you can't build a business on nibbles, and every time you give away a meal disguised as a sample, you might as well tack that "closed" sign on your door right now--and to that of every business around you.

We need each other, and we need to start valuing and supporting each others' work.  And sometimes, that means opening up your wallet and shelling out some cash.

A Little Help From My Friends

You can have mentors and coaches and cheerleaders galore, but nothing takes the place of a really good friend.  Not just any friend, but a kindred spirit.  A twin soul that inspires and motivates you, that dreams things you would never dream for yourself.

For me, that person is Casey McCann.  Not only is she a brilliant musician and educator, but she's a visionary thinker, who is 100% committed to her passion, her vision and her truth.

I first met Casey at a funeral.  It was a gloomy winter day, and we had just witnessed the burial of a mutual friend's boyfriend, who left the world much too soon after a two year battle with a brain tumor.  I don't remember much about that day, other than our mutual friend singing the most haunting rendition of Eva Cassidy's "Songbird," and the serendipidous sound of a marching band outside the funeral home serenading his soul into the afterlife.

And Casey.  I was blown away by her poise, her energy, her spirit.  We didn't talk again for another year or so, meeting again through our mutual friend, who was hosting a CD release party.  We had a brief conversation about my public relations business, which was in its infancy, and her music school, which was thriving and making its mark on the community.

I'm not quite sure the next time we saw each other, but that the raw wounds of our mutual divorces, our joint quest for spiritual and personal fulfillment and our shared passion for entrepreneurship bonded us for life.

Since that time, I've watched her confidence blossom, her spirit soar, her soul center, and the impact of her business has been incredible.  She's a living example of the impact authenticity, passion and truth can have on a business.  I leave every conversation with her insired, empowered, convicted, centered and resolute.

In an era when "coaches" and "experts" are a dime a dozen, it's a poweful remider that sometimes, all you really need is a little help from your friends.

Swatting Flies

I'm a big believer in the old adage that you can "catch more flies with honey. " I'm a Southern girl. I have several well-worn editions of Emily Post's Etiquette. I still say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am." I like to believe that people are honest and kind and good. And I've handled many a sticky work situation--including The Devil Wears Prada-type bosses, sneaky photographers, drunk concert patrons, nosy journalists and loud-mouthed clients--with grace and ease.

But if the honey isn't working, don't be afraid to get out the fly swatter. Stand up for yourself, for your business and for your ideals, and people will listen! And respect you all the more for it.