One of my favorite childhood books is Are You My Mother? In this endearing tale, a lost little bird wanders around in search of his mother. He happens upon planes, cows, trains and other random objects, asking plaintively, “are you my mother?” It’s a really sweet story about finding your tribe, about belonging, and I think it is similar to situations some of us encounter online. We all want to make friends. We all want to connect. Belong. But to what extent are we building friendships and lasting relationships? And how much of it is white noise?
I have a tendency to call everyone a “friend,” with no distinction between those I just bonded with about Glee on Twitter and those who knew me the first time leggings were popular. My husband recently questioned my overuse of this word, saying [insert your social media guru and/or popular blogger of choice here] is NOT your friend. Which, of course, prompted me to craft a smart-ass DM to one of the aforementioned gurus/bloggers, who replied that he did, in fact, consider us friends.
I have a tendency to call everyone a “friend,” with no distinction between those I just bonded with about Glee on Twitter and those who knew me the first time leggings were popular. My husband recently questioned my overuse of this word, saying [insert your social media guru and/or popular blogger of choice here] is NOT your friend. Which, of course, prompted me to craft a smart-ass DM to one of the aforementioned gurus/bloggers, who replied that he did, in fact, consider us friends.
“But there’s a difference between ‘friends’ and ‘friendly,’” my husband insisted.
And he has a point. Yes, I’m accessible and witty and occasionally overshare, but the several hundred people I know solely through the magic of the web aren’t all the same category of “friend.” Only a handful of us have shared deep secrets and belly laughs over a bottle of wine or held each other in moments of grief. To those special few, I am eternally grateful.
But what does it mean to be authentic--to be real and engaging and sincere--in a space in which public and private are so blurred? To want people to know those things that make your heart soar (for the record: running, Anne Lamott, Manhattan, naps, wine, amazing food, Don Draper, show tunes and shoes), but without them thinking I’m wasting time (naps, running, the contents of my DVR), money (wine, travel, the shoes) or influence (talking about all of the above instead of super-important industry facts and trends). What’s the difference between things I endorse and products and people I represent? How do I use these tools effectively to promote myself and my business? And do so with personality and grace? And yes, maybe even find a few friends along the way.
