Saturday, June 12, 2010

Running on Empty

So, I have something to confess.  I slept almost all day yesterday.  Maybe it was the red wine, maybe it was the allergies, maybe it was the hormones, but mostly, it's because I'm exhausted, and I haven't been taking proper care of myself.

Nearly two weeks ago, I hurt my calf during a routine Saturday morning run.  I didn't have my phone, so I limped nearly three quarters of a mile down Peachtree Battle to a friend's store to call my husband for a ride home.

If you know anything about me, you know that I get depressed and cranky when I can't run.  And when I'm depressed and cranky, I don't eat well.  I indulge in too much cheese dip, chocolate and red wine.  I forget to work out.  I don't sleep well.  I lack energy and focus.

To top it off, I've been horrible about managing my schedule.  I'm overbooked, exhausted, running on empty and have no one to blame but myself. 

I usually prepare for the upcoming week on Sunday afternoons--cheery, optimistic and organized.

Four days of endless proposals, meetings, calls, events and late nights later, I collapse in a heap on the sofa, lacking the energy to even return a simple email.  I become paralyzed.  Disillusioned.  Every.  Damn.  Week.

Something has to give.  I can't keep up this pace, or I'll never make it through marathon training this fall or build my business the way I want to.  I need to take better care of myself.  I need to learn to say no.  To trust my gut more.  To delegate.  To give in to the exhaustion and go to bed at 9pm some nights.  To give myself time to breathe and reflect and write and dream.  To spend time with my husband.  To recharge.

Because this pace is unhealthy, it's not smart, and it's making me crazy.


  1. I used to live in Ainsley Park! (I am not sure I spelled that right; it was 38 years ago). I am also an exercise addict who is learning that too much of it is just as bad as not enough: torn ligaments, seizing back, and stiff necks. I also feel that nutrition is so important. Take care of yourself, and if you miss a few runs, don't worry. My trainer said that it takes 3 weeks of no exercise at all before you lose your fitness level. molly

  2. Isn't it funny how we used to whine about a 9:00 bedtime and now....we long for it, feel guilty about it, try out best to stay up past it just so we can...what? Feel even more whiny? WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES?
    Let's get some rest already! :-)

  3. Where is my switch? You can not allow empire-building to make you its beeeyotch. You are the master of IT. I'm here if you need me.

  4. Molly--you're close--it's Ansley Park, and I'm not far from there. And it's just as easy to overtrain as undertrain--a delicate balance.
    Denee--What is it with wanting to "rebel" and stay up late? I always feel like I'm missing something if I go to bed early!
    TBS-Thanks, darling. Trying to find some more balance this week. :)

  5. I love how you didn't tie this up in a neat little bow. It says so much more that you left it uncomfortable and unresolved, because that's where you are. I always appreciate the honesty.


  6. Aaaw feel better Laura! I'm sure you can get your mojo back soon - just take your time!

  7. I didn't realize that you hurt your calf. At the beginning of June last year the same sort of thing happened to me...I feel on Roswell Road and twisted my ankle(badly). I crawled out of the road and had to wait for some nice person to stop bc there was no walking for me(thankfully the person that ended up stopping wasn't a serial killer). It threw me for a loop in my personal life as well as with work. So sorry you are having to go through this right now. My recovery took about 3 months. Hopefully you will be back to running in no time though. Hang in there.

    By the way, you looked way cute tonight, not like you haven't been sleeping well. :o) xo, -c


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