Monday, June 21, 2010

No More Hiding

Over the past few days, I've written this post several times in my head.  Each time with a different title or slightly different angle.  At first, it was going to be about "putting on big girl panties," and well, sucking it up and doing things that I need to do, but don't really feel like doing--like getting up early to get my workouts in, eating my vegetables, keeping track of business expenses, sticking to a budget, putting away laundry and paying bills.  That morphed into a treatise on "self care"--eating well, working out, sleeping, writing, oh yeah--and remembering to breathe.

And then, well, life got a bit more complicated.  Two very special people in my life went through major crises last week.  And suddenly, I grew tired of my own petulance.  Bitching about not being able to sleep in anymore just seemed inconsequential and downright childish in comparison to real problems.  Nothing like a crisis to bring about clarity.  Suddenly, the "shoulds" don't seem like "shoulds" anymore.  They are blessings.  An opportunity to live and live well.  To become a grown-up.

I don't want to hide any more.  From the pain and joy and the full range of emotions that come with living an open and honest life.  We all use crutches--food, alcohol, sleep, bad relationships and a range of unhealthy things--to cope.  To hide.  To numb the pain and the hurt and the exhaustion and overwhelm that is life.

If that means up at 6am to get a run in, giving up my afternoon nap, or forgoing that evening cocktail, I'm all in.   And I need to know what is real and raw and honest--without distractions or crutches or burying my head in the sand.  Please hold me accountable.


  1. It's amazing what someone's hardship can do for another person's perspective. I don't mean that to sound crass either. It's nice to see your fresh take on your own life.
    I hope your friends will be ok...

  2. Kristin Armstrong wrote a similar blog. She said she's changing her mindset from "I have to" to "I get to". Sometimes it's hard to keep that mindframe though, when you get further away from the event that demanded your attention. Thanks for the friendly reminder!

  3. Thanks, Jason. And you don't sound crass--just sometimes, the universe likes to remind us of what's really important.
    Sarah--I think I remember that blog. I love Kristin Armstrong--as you know!

  4. Great post Laura, I think we've all been there before. I know I can totally relate to this and I think I've finally got myself out of hiding and into a good can do it!!

  5. We all need to be reminded to "suck it up" & "put on big girl panties"! Thanks reminding us!

  6. I am way behind in reading - catching up - just red your last couple of posts! I love that it ended with this one and I hope it is working out for you - changing that attitude and really your whole schedule and lifestyle in one fail swoop is hard! Good luck... and let me know want you need help being held accountable for and I will put you in my nag queue (only because you asked.. my nag queue is sparse b/c I don't like to nag except to help people that want it!) :)


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